Tim Allen is Trying to Contact Me Through My Television

3 Feb

As I was watching tv today, three commercials featuring Tim Allen’s voice came on in a row. I’m sure that this is a sign. I am very big on signs. What besides fate could have made commercials for Campbell’s, Chevrolet, and the great state of Michigan play in a neat little lineup? And don’t even try to tell me about marketing and target audiences and whatever other black magic words you can think of. Twas fate I tell you!

I’m still working out what exactly this sign means. There’s the possibility that I’m watching too much television. (Although really, Tim Allen, who are you to dictate my television time?) I could go for a sort of literal interpretation–maybe I need to drive a Chevrolet truck to Michigan and eat Campbell’s soup. That sounds logical, doesn’t it?

Let’s see, my favorite Tim Allen role is Buzz Lightyear, followed closely by Jason Nesmith (of Galaxy Quest, for all you squares). Buzz Lightyear…Galaxy Quest…space…..I know Tim’s not telling me to go to space because I can’t even ride a rollercoaster. Hmmm.

Well, barring his Pixar success, Tim Allen is probably most well-known for being Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor on Home Improvement. Maybe I’m meant to work with my hands, nail something, spackle. (Note: As soon as I ended that last sentence I realized that I have no idea what spackling involves. Luckily, dictionary.com informed me that spackle is a type of quick-drying plaster-like material; thus, spackling is the act of applying said plaster. Basically, to spackle is to plaster. Hey you know how “plastered” is commonly known as a level of drunkenness? I feel like “spackled” could work just as well. As in, “Dude, I was SO spackled last night!” Wait, is this still in parenthesis? What was I talking about? Oh yes, Tim Allen and fate. Guess I’ll get back to that. See you on the other side.) If we go with the Home Improvement angle for this sign, then this may well be my if-you-build-it-they-will-come/Noah’s ark moment.

Then again, I’m all about words here at Oh My Words. Campbell’s tagline is “It’s Amazing What Soup Can Do.” Chevrolet: “Chevy runs deep.” And as for Michigan, the state motto is “Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice,” which means “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you.” Maybe Tim Allen (or an even higher power) is giving me a pep-talk through taglines? Perhaps I’m being told that I am complex and capable of amazing things and that I need only look around me for happiness. Huh? Huh? Pretty good, right? And, actually, that’s a wonderful pep talk because the job search has been a little disheartening lately.

Let’s not even talk about Tim’s jail record. I do not believe that my sign has anything to do with prison. That’s just ridiculous.

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