5. While writing something, I could not figure out how to spell silhouette. I was misspelling it so badly that spell-check couldn’t even get a grasp of what I was trying to say. Finally, urged by desperation and impatience, I just looked it up.
s-i-l-h-o-u-t-t-e. Huh. Okay.
So I continued with my work until I got flummoxed again. Jiminy Cricket is a …conscious? No, wait…consiounce? Oh God, no. Five minutes later, I had confirmed that the word conscience has “science” in it (since when??) and established a growing fear that I had lost all my smarts. Plus, I kept thinking of this great (if wince-worthy) comic by For Lack of a Better Comic that depicts an English major getting his English Major Badge taken away for bad spelling.
4. I decided to treat myself to a mug of hot chocolate, what with my spelling nerves being so frazzled. I got a mug out of the cupboard, got the milk out of the refrigerator. I poured the milk into the mug, put the mug in the microwave. I put the milk back in the cupboard….
wait a minute…
3. Tomorrow, I will be chauffeuring a friend of my grandma’s to a doctor’s appointment. (I have a feeling that this experience will require its own post. The possibilities for hilarity and insanity are endless.) Today, this lady called to confirm what time I would pick her up, then said seven terrifying words: “I have you for the day, right?” The last time this particular woman asked this, I ended up spending 4 more hours with her than I had intended, pushing a grocery cart through Starbucks like a crazy person, reading the nutritional content of every single frozen dinner in Trader Joe’s, cleaning out her fridge, and doing her laundry.
2. I applied for yet another job that I could potentially be excited about. ‘Nuff said.
1. During an afternoon phone call, Grandma expressed her concern about me not meeting new people, living with my parents, not finding a job–the list goes on because, apparently, my life is very concerning. Grandma concluded with: “You really need to meet more people your own age. Your life is half over.”
I’m 23. I’d just like to put that out there. I’m 23, and Grandma has me in the middle-aged category already. Gee, I thought I’d have accomplished so much more by this point.
“You’re 93!” I shouted. “If I live to be your age, then I’m definitely not at the halfway mark!”
“What, so I rounded up.” Grandma said. And then: “Still, I think something’s half over. Your child-bearing years. Your brunette years. Your freedom years.”
“GAH! STOP TALKING! JUST STOP TALKING!”
Families can be such fun. Good luck with the brain farts 😉
fun…crazy…tomato toe-mah-toe
Love this! Absolutely love this! Yet another great post!
Awww–thank you! Glad you liked it.
Stuff like this happens to me all the time. It only gets worse as you get older, so good luck. (Haha, I turn 25 tomorrow…)
This is very belated, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you had a great day and celebrated your advanced age!
Ahahahahahahhahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am still laughing 🙂 You are such a fun writer and an amazing person AND you have a hilarious grannie! and 23 is YOUNG!!!!
Also, in a possibly bad friend way, I am glad that you know what it is like to be SO far off on spelling that spell check (and google and especially m-w) cannot figure out what you are trring to say. Its really quite awful, huh.
(I’d also like to point out that “can not” and “aweful” make perfect sense to me!)
Did I really make you laugh? That makes me happy.
Yes, I figured that you of all people would sympathize with me about the spelling catastrophe….
At 23, your life is half over. At 35, I must have 1.5 feet in the grave already!
Congrats on making it to your golden years! 😛
oh my! i’m 23 too and all these have happened to me too, except for the chauffeuring (had to look this one up) thing…yikes!
a peer! We can meet up at the old folks home and compare notes!
Funny Gramma. I turned 40 last year. Already married, childed, divorced and remarried I was THRILLED to be 40. This is gonna be an awesome awesome decade. Gramma leave her alone. She’s a BABY!!! And stay with your parents as long as you can. Build up your credit and your bank account and stay away from stupid boys.
If I could, I would embroider the second half of your comment into a pillow. I could probably even sell it on etsy and make a mint…
Kim, you are too great and I’m sure this *is* gonna be an awesome awesome decade for you! 🙂
Pretty sure too late to reply but just wanted to say I loved this post, along with all of your other writings. 🙂