This Will Make You Chuckle

17 Jan

Baby Ninja?

Last week, in a nod of respect to my New Years resolution to write more, I started writing a short story involving giraffes. It’s probably not as interesting as it sounds; if you’re thinking, for example, that it’s a story with talking giraffes, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you. (That does sound like a good read, though.) I was a giraffe for Halloween once, but I’m not sure I could put the right words in this particular animal’s mouth. I’m not even sure what a giraffe would sound like or who would listen–however, my guess would be the opposite of David Schwimmer, and anyone who’s smart enough.

There are actually no giraffes in the story, just a lot of conversation about them. I spent several hours, in the name of research, reading  interesting facts about the giraffe. The trouble with this was that I got sucked down an internet rabbit hole and ended up spending my writing time surfing giraffe trivia. Most major city zoos have a special page of their websites devoted to the giraffe. In case you need some interesting dinner table conversation or unique pick-up lines (hey, it’d probably work on me), I’ll be glad to help you out:

The average giraffe tongue is about 20 inches (50 centimeters) long.

Female giraffes give birth standing up and babies can walk within hours after being born.

Giraffes can go weeks without drinking. They eat moisture-rich foods such as acacia leaves and usually seek water every few days, lowering themselves in a splay-legged drinking stance that leaves them vulnerable to predators.

Giraffes sleep only about a half-hour a day, and this time is usually broken up into about six five-minute naps.

I sort of just assumed that animal information on zoo websites was guaranteed fact. Since zoos are all about education and preservation, I figured that fact-checking would be a high priority. Most of the sites I visited had the same basic giraffe content. All except one, that is.

Which brings me to the chuckle I promised you. Thanks for hanging in there.

The Dickerson Park Zoo in Springfield, Missouri, devotes a page of its website to the Baringo Giraffe. Among the giraffe information listed is this:

Giraffes can run 35 mph and can kick with all four legs at the same time.

Go ahead. Re-read it. I’ll wait.

Okay, now picture a giraffe kicking with all four legs at the same time and don’t laugh or smile.

IT CAN’T BE DONE!

Did you just envision a ninja giraffe kicking out at four different enemies while screaming “HI-YA”? Did you imagine a giraffe that looked something like a bear-skin rug?

Now, I have a feeling that this tid-bit of info is a mistake–but I’ll take my amusement any way I can get it.

This chuckle was brought to you by Oh My Words! and the Dickerson Zoo. You’re welcome.

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10 Responses to “This Will Make You Chuckle”

  1. Scriptor Obscura January 17, 2012 at 5:34 pm #

    Hahahahaha! Lol… 😀

    • Scriptor Obscura January 23, 2012 at 5:14 pm #

      Hey, I just thought that since you are writing about giraffes now lately, you might really enjoy this image here:

      Enjoy! 😀

      I hope you liked it! 😀

      • Oh My Words! January 25, 2012 at 5:17 pm #

        LOVE IT! Not gonna lie…I kind of want a giraffe head like that. Don’t you think it would help me write? 🙂

  2. Michael January 18, 2012 at 8:30 am #

    I totally pictured the ninja giraffe. Which would also make for an interesting story, especially if it were a talking ninja giraffe.

    • Oh My Words! January 25, 2012 at 5:12 pm #

      Well there’s my next story–starring a talking ninja giraffe 🙂

  3. powachair2 January 21, 2012 at 1:20 am #

    Kick ass giraffe

  4. Sarchasm2 January 21, 2012 at 1:21 am #

    LOL Sorry used my sports blog url

  5. christaschule2010 January 27, 2012 at 8:41 am #

    I`ve just found your post and read it! Thanks for that!

    • Oh My Words! February 9, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

      I’ve only just read that you read my post! You’re very welcome and I’m glad you enjoyed it!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Take a Look, It’s on a Book: Book Title Poem « Oh My Words! - February 9, 2012

    […] my New Years resolution to maintain a habit of creative writing? Yeah, not going so well. My Giraffe Story is giving me problems because I can’t decide who’s narrating/what perspective is most […]

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