When Your Soul and Your Foot Fall Asleep

21 Mar

My right foot and my soul fell asleep at work today. Boring, hope-sucking projects will do that. Here’s what I did to wake them up:

  • I stomped on the floor several times, really hard (with my foot, not my soul–ouch), like a horse trying to communicate. This made one of my coworkers look over curiously. Interestingly, this is the same co-worker with whom I have a secret work language. “How are you?” we ask each other. We actually mean “How do you feel about work right now?” Accordingly, the responses range from “I’m pretty good” to “Need. Chocolate. Now.” and untranslatable noises. So when she looked over at me and my stomping foot, I’m afraid she may have thought that I had upped our language to the next level–morse code. I hope I haven’t established a new precedence, because I’d hate to have to learn how to stomp “chocolate” or “help” or “tell me it’s not Monday.”
  • I ate my emergency candy. This chocolate was only to be eaten in cases of extreme crisis, and after much consideration and careful thought, I ripped into that sucker like the tasmanian devil. My soul needed that chocolate fix! After the initial taste, I tried to be like Charlie (of Willy Wonka fame) and only eat a little bit every once in awhile–to preserve the chocolately goodness and stretch the enjoyment out. But my self-control is minimal when it comes to chocolate. I’ve now decided that your name must be Charlie and your grandparents must all sleep in the same bed if you hope to achieve true chocolate rationing. 
  • I worked on a different assignment for a little while. In theory, this was a great idea–a way to avoid work, but still get work done. But my distraction turned out to be an article on bakeries that needed fact-checked and edited. This meant looking at pictures of  gorgeous, scrumptious cakes and reading mouth-watering descriptions of baked goods. Since my last bit of work chocolate was now a distant memory, this was cruel…cruel indeed.  
  • I took a ten minute break and walked around the outside of the building. It was pouring rain and I had no umbrella, so I mean I actually walked the outside of the building, following it’s shape and staying under the two-foot eave all the way around. It was nice to breathe a little fresh air (it’s a small office with, shall we say, unique smells) and look at natural light instead of computer light. But I felt a little like a crazy person, following the outline of the building and muttering to myself. (Did I mention that I was muttering? I’m telling you, it was that kind of project.) There aren’t too many other tenants in this office space, but I did pass a few who happened to be sitting right at their windows. Maybe they, too, were bored to the point of physical and emotional (spiritual?) paralysis. If so, I’d like to think that I provided a brief distraction–maybe even a wake-up call. At the very least, they could watch me hobble past and think “At least I’m not an intern.”
  • I thought about the project and my foot and my soul and decided yeah, I can blog about this.

 And that’s when I started to feel tingles in my foot and my soul.

16 Responses to “When Your Soul and Your Foot Fall Asleep”

  1. broadsideblog March 22, 2011 at 3:54 am #

    Too funny!

    At least you have someone at work to commiserate with. I work alone at home and it can get very lonely. No one to foot-stomp with.

    • Oh My Words! March 23, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

      Not even a cat or a dog? I’m working from home today, and I’m currently typing with a dog on my lap. Maybe it’s not the best writing practice, but it’s even better than foot morse code 🙂

  2. shreejacob March 22, 2011 at 3:54 am #

    When I get bored at work I surf the net and read cleverly disguised blogs like those on wordpress! I think the firewall that our office employs only takes care of those that have the word blog in the url!! hehe!

    I totally agree with the chocolate thing. I could never eat chocolate slowly…not popcorn too!

    • Oh My Words! March 23, 2011 at 12:46 pm #

      Oh man, a firewalled office–I guess I shouldn’t complain! haha
      Glad my blog could be there for you in your time of need!

  3. idiosyncraticeye March 22, 2011 at 4:29 am #

    So could relate to this post! But I can ration chocolate although my name’s not Charlie and am bereft of grandparents. Hmm, though I have to admit there are days when chocolate is the only thing that’s gonna work and you need it FAST! Love the final image too. 🙂

    • Oh My Words! March 23, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

      Wow, a chocolate rationer? Maybe you should teach a course… 🙂

  4. Jazz March 22, 2011 at 6:09 am #

    Do you work here and I just don’t know who you are?

  5. ferryperson March 22, 2011 at 10:30 am #

    I recently had a soul sucking project – for a church, no less. It should have been a simple letterhead re-design, but the whole church was asked to weigh in and it turned into the stationery from hell. Which I think could be a bad thing for a church…I really hope that they never tell anyone that I designed their letterhead because it is NOT going into my portfolio!
    I work from home and sometimes miss an office compatriot to b***h with….

    • Oh My Words! March 23, 2011 at 12:51 pm #

      “which I really think could be a bad thing for a church…”
      funny stuff! 🙂
      A soul sucking church project? Truly, that was an evil job…

  6. Rediscovering Tina March 22, 2011 at 1:44 pm #

    I have a secret emergency chocolate stash that must remain hidden or I’ll be replenishing it every day.

    • Oh My Words! March 23, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

      yes, that’s the problem with the secret emergency work chocolate….I know where it is (or isn’t anymore, as the case may be)

  7. pattyabr March 22, 2011 at 7:10 pm #


  8. ann March 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

    lol brilliant very cute thay all look so snug!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. WobblyWords March 26, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    Great ending line! and awesome photo. I’m going to try that next time one foot falls asleep and if I remember I’ll send the pic to you ;P

  10. Ash March 27, 2011 at 7:44 pm #

    My job is one boring project after another. I shrink wrap books. Yes. That is what I do. A couple of the girls at work make the time fly by, but I only work with them a couple hours a day.

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