I Want a Guy Who Wears a Fedora

16 Mar

Suavamente!

I saw  The Adjustment Bureau last weekend, and as the main characters were rediscovering the limits of reality and testing the strength of their love, I thought I want a guy who wears a fedora.

I don’t think that was the point of the movie.

"Cock your hat--angles are attitudes." --Sinatra

There are a lot of fedoras in The Adjustment Bureau. I don’t think it ruins anything, for those of you who haven’t seen the movie, to tell you that the hats actually have a fairly important role. Yes, they’re not just fashion statements–they aid the “powers” of the guys in the Bureau. It’s not really explained why, or at least not explained well, so I’m thinking that it was just an excuse for the male actors to don these bygone headpieces. And why not? They made them look suave and sophisticated, and as far as uniforms go, the fedora is way cooler than say, a polo shirt or a vest with pieces of flair.

The fedora even upped Matt Damon’s ante. His good looks are mentioned several times in the movie–he’s supposed to be a very young senate hopeful, so jokes are made about him standing out from the typical, less-than-chiseled politician. For me, though, it wasn’t until ol’ Matt put on a fedora that I got a twinge of oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

So I decided I wanted a guy who wears a fedora. This tipped my list of desired boyfriend attributes into the ridiculous, but I didn’t care. The fedora has been rocked by the rugged, manly Indiana Jones, the mysterious, side-talking Humphrey Bogart, and my main man: Frank Sinatra. Why wouldn’t it be on my list?

Except.

Except it’s not the same. It’s not the same nowadays. Maybe it’s just me, but when I see a guy wearing a fedora out on the street, 9 times out of 10 he looks like a tool, a poser. As I understand it, the fedora has even gotten to be a fairly common accessory for the hipster–an undernourished, oddly dressed creature that does not make my heart go pitter-patter. So really, then, I don’t want a guy who wears a fedora. Or, maybe I want a time machine…and then a guy who wears a fedora? This is getting complicated. Thanks a lot, Matt Damon.

It’s interesting that I only like the old-school fedora wearers because for them, wearing a fedora was like wearing underwear. (That analogy only works if you wear underwear everyday. If you don’t, I hope you’ll substitute a different everday clothing item…and I hope we’re not trying on the same bathing suits.) Shouldn’t I appreciate the guy who wears a fedora today, in 2011, because he’s different? But no–the heart wants what it wants, and I think mine wants the whole fedora package: nice suit, debonair manners, dashing hat. Not some punk wearing ratty skinny jeans and half a goutee. 

Some, like The Well-Dressed Gentleman and The Art of Manliness, are urging a proper fedora comeback. There’s even a Facebook group dedicated to a fedora revival revolution. I just don’t know. I guess I’m in favor of Fedora: The Next Generation, but I also think they should be  pushing the whole fedora enchilada. It is, after all, what’s inside the fedora that counts. (Oh yeah, I went there.)

 I once bought a man’s tweed fedora for a couple of bucks at a garage sale, but it was too small for my head (I have a really big head). As I was writing this post, I went searching for it. I thought it would be fun to write while wearing my too-small fedora–I could be like an old-timey journalist, but without the cigarette and tendency to call every female “dollface.” But I couldn’t find my hat. It could have been sucked into a closet during one of my cleaning fits, but I suspect it was re-sold or donated. In that case, there may be a guy out there in the world with a tweed fedora and the key to my heart. If you’re reading this, Mr. X, just make sure you’re the real deal.

 

 

 

P.S.
If you’re considering seeing The Adjustment Bureau (remember that’s how this whole thing started?) I’d advise you to wait until it’s out on video. It’s not that it was bad, it was actually pretty entertaining, it’s just that today’s movie prices make me a harsh critic. 

 

 

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32 Responses to “I Want a Guy Who Wears a Fedora”

  1. Patty March 16, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    Hey hats are coming back in style again. But you know I only like wearing a hat when my hair needs to be covered. Love the pictures.

    • Oh My Words! March 16, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

      I may have to get a hat for exactly that reason! 🙂 My friends always know that my headbands and ponytails aren’t fashion statements, but emergency responses…

  2. belleofthecarnival March 16, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    I think the old school fedora swaggering man is sexy! At least we know he’s packing some heat 😉

    • Oh My Words! March 16, 2011 at 10:36 pm #

      Oh man, I agree–the old school fedora man is DEFINITLEY sexy…he’s packing heat AND he knows how to use it!

  3. Scriptor Obscura March 16, 2011 at 9:30 pm #

    You expressed my thoughts exactly! 🙂
    I love the way you write. We think alike!

  4. earlybird March 16, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    I like a man in a fedora too… but I fear this is the key element “I think mine wants the whole fedora package: nice suit, debonair manners, dashing hat.” A nice suit? Maybe possible still but debonair manners? When was the last time a man leapt out of the driver’s seat and came round to open your door? When was the last time a man (younger than my father) got up when you came into a room? When was the last time… ahh! I’m getting OLD!

    • Oh My Words! March 17, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

      Yes, I know what you mean. I think I’m nostalgic for an era I wasn’t even a part of….
      The first date I ever had, the guy started to help me with my jacket and I didn’t even know what he was doing! I was awkardly startled, so even with help, it took twice as long to put the thing on.

    • CommonSense March 29, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

      This is what women always say they want, but when that sort of man exists, they eschew them in favor of the Bad Boy. ALWAYS.

  5. shreejacob March 17, 2011 at 2:53 am #

    Well! What about that! My Irish love of my life dons a fedora too! Not so much now though, not like any everyday underwear thing, and no I’m not at all sure if he does, I haven’t had the opportunity to check! 😉

    • Oh My Words! March 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

      Irish and a fedora? Clearly he IS the love of your life!

      • shreejacob March 18, 2011 at 4:52 am #

        Indeed! If he only knew!! However, I shall just be happy that I am able to “stalk” him through a fan website 😉

  6. broadsideblog March 17, 2011 at 8:42 am #

    We has this conversation this morning as I drove the sweetie to the train station — he looked terrific, except for the (*&%#@@* golf cap. It MUST go. Not sure a fedora will work, but natty headgear can be a great look when part of the whole style.

    Very few men, I think, have the confidence and style to pull it off anymore.

    • Oh My Words! March 17, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

      Yeah, I think you have to be in a certain frame of mind to wear a fedora.
      Was your sweetie going golfing? Maybe you should suggest a fedora for a change of pace! Just rent a couple of old detective movies or Indiana Jones or Guys and Dolls and let fedora nature run it’s course…

  7. munchkn March 17, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    I would just like to say that I have the most charming gentleman for a boyfriend, and he dresses up quite nicely every time he goes out – shirt, jacket, clean jeans, long coat….and a hat. In fact, we met because of his hat. Now, granted, it’s not a fedora, but it’s close – it’s a trilby. Personally, I prefer the trilbies.

    • munchkn March 17, 2011 at 3:05 pm #

      And no, he’s not a hipster. Definitely not a hipster. The idea makes me laugh.

    • Oh My Words! March 17, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

      I would just like to say that I am very jealous–your charming gentleman boyfriend sounds lovely 🙂
      You met because of his hat? I’m intrigued! Sounds like a story waiting to be told……..

  8. Ash March 17, 2011 at 6:44 pm #

    I’ve always wanted to pull of a fedora, but hats make my forehead sweat and crease my bangs. My boyfriend has one though, and he seems to pull it off pretty well. He is not a hipster though–he’s too nice for that.

    • Oh My Words! March 17, 2011 at 11:32 pm #

      I’ve never found a hat that worked for me, either! At least you can admire the boyfriend’s hat fashion 🙂

  9. WobblyWords March 26, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    🙂 I love that you used what I consider a fabulous adjective TOOL!!!!! Fun read 🙂

  10. CommonSense March 29, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    As far as I’ve seen, fedoras have unfortunately become the uniform of overweight men with beards in duster coats who are a bit too loud, and often seen walking into comic book stores.

    Not trim, debonair and sharp-witted confident men. Which is sad. (And while women profess to want that sort, they’ll always go for the bad boy instead.)

  11. whatyouseeandnothingmore May 31, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    I can totallly see where you’re coming from with the fedora thing. I do rather like that, though to be honest I rather like any man in a suit (it has to be a full suit though, waistcoats are a must, and if they aren’t wearing a tie, they may as well not bother). My personal favorite thing for a man to wear though, is something similar to what Gerad Butler wore in Phantom of the Opera, or the costumes for the Phantom in the stage show. There is hardly anything sexier. Except perhaps a man dressed like that with a lassoo (to be in keeping with the outfit). Weapons are simply put, fantastic. Though only ones which need skill to use. Guns … not so much.

    P.s. Im reading through your blogs, and they are hilarious. You are ridiculously similar to me, and its funny to see someone with such similar thoughts.

    • Oh My Words! June 2, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

      Yes, suits give me tingles, too. (Although I’m fine if its sans waistcoat.) I never pictured the Phantom with a lasso, but hey, I don’t hate it!

      Glad you’re enjoying my blog!

      • Musings of a Mad Molly June 3, 2011 at 11:44 am #

        I don’t know, I have a funny thing about waistcoats. I think a suit without a waistcoat is like wearing shoes without socks (obviously when you are wearing full length trousers). Thats a really rubish analogy, but my brain is not processing analogies, it is having an off day.

  12. Charming nick October 26, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    I’ve got the suit and I’m out to buy a fedora 🙂 Also this describes me perfectly except I’m more awesome.:) ps. You’ll be treated like a lady when ya act like one dollface…:)

  13. Sammie January 24, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    I just started dating a guy, and he shows up in a fedora, navy blue 3 piece suit, yellow tie and handkerchief showing from his suit pocket. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so embarrased. He is not young and good looking; he’s short and old. So I just wanted to hide under a barrell. The 40s fedoras are sexy. Today, it’s just a reminder of all the movies that show pimps wearing the fedoras. I don’t know how to tell him he looks ridiculous.

    • Oh My Words! January 25, 2012 at 5:19 pm #

      Woooow! Where were you going for your date? I hope it wasn’t someplace super casual. I admire your guy’s confidence, though. I’m curious if that’s his everyday look, too?

      • Sammie January 28, 2012 at 8:17 am #

        I just started dating him. He was heading to a sales call! Other things he’s worn are appropriate and classy. Just looked so over dressed for the occasion.

      • Oh My Words! February 9, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

        well, I hope things are going well. I think the fedora outfit is a good strategy for a sales call–it would probably work on me! 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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  3. Hubba Hubba! Hunks from Yesteryear « Oh My Words! - September 20, 2011

    […] feature daguerrotypes and old photos of some bygone babes. If you’re like me, and swoon for fedoras and gentlemen and oldtime standards of beauty,  you’ll get a kick out of browsing these […]

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