- Optimism
This isn’t that bad. I can totally do this. I’ll put some peppy music on, pull my hair back, push up my sleeves. I’ll bet I can get this done in 2 hours, tops. I am good!
- Devastation
MY. GOD. There’s no end to the mess! Who am I kidding? I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this. Where did it all come from? Where do I put it? Why do I have one red shoelace? Why am I keeping every birthday card I’ve ever gotten? Ewww–why is there so much dust under the bed? This is horrible. HORRIBLE! The end is not near! What do I do? What is to become of me? Panic! PANIC!
- Avoidance
Okay, breathe. I’ll just take a little break. I need to detox. I’m hungry–I should eat lunch. I’ll be more motivated to clean once I’m fed. Maybe I’ll turn the tv on while I’m eating. I don’t want to eat alone, it will be a nice little bit of company. Oh, and the dogs probably need walked. I’ll just eat a little something, watch a little something, and walk the dogs. All necessary.
- Guilt
Oh no–it HASN’T been 2 hours, has it? What am I doing? I should have been cleaning this whole time! I’m so bad! I can’t stick to anything! I said I would be done by now–I’ve wasted time! I can’t do anything else now–this is hanging over my head. Bad Bad Bad!
- Resourcefulness
I’ll just jam things under the bed. Yeah…nobody’s going to look under the bed. And the closet! I’ll put everything in the closet and close the door! Piles! I’ll make piles! They look neater than everything just spread out everywhere….maybe it will look like my piles are part of a system. What are cupboards and drawers and closets for, if not to hide all this crap?
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Tags: cleaning, humor, mess, organization, stages of grief
Sometimes I will get stuck at step 1 and 2, then just quit. What you need is an organized roommate like the one we have in Italy!
I WAS the organized roommate once! I guess I still am, but now I am called a wife and mother.
Yes, it’s much easier to clean with an inspiration or motivator
We should have a roommate reunion in a clean, organized place! 🙂
HILARIOUS! I love it!!
Awesome! “This mess is a place” — I think that’s my new mantra. 🙂
Have you been hanging around my place or something?! I so go through those stages. It really amazes me when I clean under the couch (wood floors) and bed and kitchen appliances. So many dust bunnies!
I get to all 5 feelings… in that order….every single day!
Ha-ha. This is funny, but so true!
What an awesome blog post! 🙂
Man, can I relate to this one or what? Totally enjoyed the read. Thanks for giving me some long awaited grins and making my day happier!
I make piles and then slip them under anything i can find… sofas, cabinets, beds… shall we call it minimalist??! Not sure what happens when i run out of sofa storage…
Great post… and v true!
Awesome! I’ve started my spring cleaning this week and this is exactly how it’s felt!
I felt like I was talking to myself. Are you a libra by chance? Awesome post, thanks for the smile. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
Nice…I usually stick as stage 3. Good stuff.
Crystal
And I always thought it was just me. My newest ‘system’ is to leave everything in a huge abstract pile on the floor and not move anything, that way nothing is lost, and if a bomb hits the house it won’t be a wasted effort. 🙂
Fairly accurate. Minus pulling back my hair, I basically go through the same process whenever I’m doing dishes, laundry, or really anything I don’t want to do.
How did you get inside my head?!?!?!?
Step one: find an empty oil drum.
Step two: Fill with nonessential from the house.
Step three: Douse with lighter fluid.
Step four: Cleaning’s done!
Glad i could help 🙂
~J
Ha, that’s my husbands idea of spring cleaing. If you’re allowed to burn without neighbours complaining it WILL be burnt!! lol
Great article! You had me laughing out loud. I feel better knowing others are just as bad as I am.
Oh, I love it!!!
I can so relate!!!
This sounds VERY familiar.
This is me….so much mess I don’t know how to start. 🙂
With my brother coming back from college, and bringing four friends to stay the night, my mom has gone into panic mode about how much everything has to be cleaned. Unfortunately, we don’t have the solution of shoving everything into piles and cabinets, because we don’t have any storage in our house and all our pile places are already used by other things. 😀 So as soon as I’m done at college here, I’m off to help her.
I always skip step 1 and stop at step 3. LOL
I am usually best at Stage 3, avoidance. Also, there is a stage 6 called “Fascination”. I can watch with fascination when someone else is cleaning (as long as I don’t have to help).
Have you been spying on me? Is there a 12-step recovery program? Or any number recovery program?
haha I haven’t been spying, I swear! No 12-step program at the moment, but at least we know we have a support group!
I have found that if I have a party every month, I am forced to clean the main part of the house. It is only when I go into the recesses og my children’s closets that the panic attacks really begin.
LOL, this is me! I’ll invite grandma and grandpa to come and spend the night…this sends the kids into panic mode as well and they start cleaning their butts off! Works everytime!
I love this! It’s like you’ve watched me attempt a cleaning session. I think so many people can relate to this!
This reminds me of one of Bob Dylan’s interviews. In the 1980s, Dylan released some of his weakest work, and many blame studio production rather than the material. It seemed that he would always start optimistically and then he would go through several stages before just putting out another weak 80s album.
At the time, I think he said “my aim starts wide and ends narrow.”
I always get stuck at stage 3 and nothing ever gets done, haha!
I once owned a commercial cleaning company. I’ll never forget the first job. I quoted a price of $300 for what I thought would take 2 hrs work. It took 7 hours to complete. I found out real quick that cleaning takes a lot longer than planned and is harder than I realized.
Great post! I wrote a post called, “Do You Stuff Things in Closets and Drawers?” I swing from avoidance to optimism and no longer feel guilty about it. I’ve decided that I’m not raising a house–I’m raising kids and if they are learning, growing, and experimenting, the house cannot look perfectly clean at all times and unlived in. 🙂
Congrats for being published on Freshly Pressed!
That sounds like a very healthy (and happy) philosophy! I’ll have to check out your post!
I do usually end with guilt. There is not place to put all that stuff.
My gosh. You captured my cleaning experiences exactly. Spot on!
I can’t clean until all of my house is completely empty, and then the steps usually proceed just as you had described them. (Except towards the end someone normally comes home to find me weeping in a pile of cleaning supplies on the floor.)
OOooh, yeah! My fave – 3 🙂
Hahaha! It sounds like my morning! Avoidance and procrastination are necessary survival skills when it comes to cleaning 🙂
LOL- this is my dilemna exactly! So much so, I devoted my daily Postaday Challenge (my a.d.d. project) to this and this alone! And it is working- Like you, I am overwhelmed by “where did it all come from?” And yet, I most certainly am convinced “I need everything!” Glad to know I am not the only one who feels this way. We are NOT bad people. Maybe just not ‘Domestic Godesses”.
But do you really need everything. I know I don’t, but I get stuck trying to throw stuff away.
Brilliantly written. I couldn’t help nodding all the way. And congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Piles in the closet look so much better than everything scattered out on the floor in the middle of the room! I love this post and the 5 stages of cleaning! Congrats on being FP!
Hilarious! Seriously, that’s what closets are for…people who can’t seem to conquer the clutter. I cringe when I dare open one of my closets for fear the avalanche from the mountain of crap in there might kill me. Congrats on FP.
Love the list, it is funny to have someone else put down the stages that I go through all the time. What is interesting is you could also just reword a few things and make it the five stages of exercising, because it really does correlate.
Several readers have pointed out that these stages could apply to homework, but this is the first comparison I’ve seen to exercising–so true! Although I might change #5 to Delusion or something like that 🙂
Good Lord, you might as well have been talking about me there…I go through all these stages, and then I have another stage…Denial…where I refuse to consider the mess a mess….:)
I just found your blog through Freshly Pressed, and I love your hilarious take on house cleaning. I, myself, have gone through all five stages many a time.
My former roommate resorted to buying tiara-style party hats and inviting me to a “kitchen party,” wherein all the guests were expected to clean. There weren’t even snacks!
When you get to step five, a dust ruffle really comes in handy. I’ve extolled their virtues here: http://girloutofdixie.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/77-dust-ruffles/
I’m looking forward to catching up on your posts!
I think that’s how MerryMaids started….
spread the humor: charlywalker.wordpress.com
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!
Thank you for the much needed giggle today. I have a step in there that you dont. It’s the “hey, I’m just going to catch up on my TIVO’d programs for an hour and then I’ll really be ready to knock this cleaning out. And then sometimes I ‘accidentially’ fall asleep while I’m catching up on my TIVO’s programs.
tv is definitely an enabler when it comes to not cleaning…
LOL love it!!! so true! i started this morning on phase 1, and im chilling on phase 3 😀
There’s a stage 6 in my household: FULL CIRCLE. Five minutes after you’ve finished jamming stuff in closets and shoving boxes under your bed, your kids come along and dump it all over the floor again!
Yep, that about sums it up. 🙂 After cleaning all morning, and afternoon, this totally made my day 🙂
I do like to have music on too… but I have shoving things in cabinets and closets. I’d rather have neat and orderly drawers… Not if only I could get Hubster to help…
Um, this is totally, exactly my cleaning method. I don’t know how anyone EVER has a clean house, or even a clean room. I need to hire a professional. 🙂
I agree… I’ve always felt that people with impeccableble cleaning skills have taken a knowledge or understanding class that I somehow missed. The “what to do with everything” is undoubtedly the worst part!
Your words made me laugh out loud! I can totally identify with the 5 stages of cleaning. 🙂
You’re spot on! Haha! Literally! I’ve been through all of those phases. Great post!
Hahaha – hilarious – yes, this is so ME too. Love it.
This is a riot! I once felt your ‘pain’, being the mother to two (now adult) sons.
Keep the faith and thanks for making me laugh!
Thank you for making my day! This is exactly what I go through every time I clean. So funny!
I needed this and the comic relief it provided as I prepare to attack the house and all the “stuff” I have no place for, but somehow find a temporary place to move it to until I find a “better” place for it — also, temporary.
“Piles! I’ll make piles!”
Ahhhh, yes – resourcefulness.
YOU are a very funny, talented writer.
Totally made me smile. 🙂
And by the way.. turning some peppy music on and dressing like a baggy bum really does motivate one (atleast me) to clean fast, efficiently and beast-like.
Aun Aqui
When cleaning time comes, I just post the For Sale sign…
spread the humor: charlywalker.wordpress.com
thanks a lot! Oh and you’re right, the peppy music is key!
LOL! This is funny and true!
You just have to do it. And chores aren’t that bad.
I know that feeling. Then I discovered http://www.flylady.net
It’s awesome. 🙂
You sound exactly as I am. I tend to try to ‘hide’ stuff instead of actually cleaning. I also can only go for a couple of hours at a time.
I’ve been there so many times…I’ve wished to have a dog to walk!!
I’m at the guilt stage.
Love it!! Went through these exact steps last night with my room! Still not totally clean. I will finish today!!! Maybe… 🙂 Thanks for posting!
Oh I love this. Cleaning is a never ending thing and I try my best not to feel too guilty that I don’t have that perfect house. Great post.
My wife & I split the cleaning duties. Somehow I got stuck with cleaning bathrooms. Devastation is indeed what happens every time I take on the shower. It’s the worst chore there is, I think. Especially, when I put it off and it just gets worse. I guess you call that Avoidance.
I don a Hazmat suit for that endeavor..
Why bother? I long ago gave up on housecleaning. Now I pay others to do it. It eats into my food budget, but it’s worth every penny! Congrats on being freshly pressed. Loved the illustration you have here.
I went to a college that required us to clean our rooms extensively in the middle of every semester. Sometimes, it followed the pattern you outlined, ony though people would makes piles in their cars instead.
This gave me a great laugh! Thank you!
Is it possible to feel all 5 at once?
I usually end up drifting into doing the housework. I start off just cleaning one small area, then end up thinking, “well I’ve started. Might as well do it all now”. It’s the procrastination of the chore that’s the worst thing.
Maybe it’s life’s way of telling me it’s time to get a maid…
I can’t go to bed with unclean dishes in the sink..And I can’t sit down to eat if I see crumbs on the floor! The folk at our shop/business think I have a clean tic!! But, you should see our guest room! Two baskets of clothes that need ironing. My motto! Do what you can, and what you can’t, leave.
How about: “Do what you can, and what you can’t, leave for the cleaning lady”…
spread the humor.
honestly – after the kids arrived – that’s why i don’t clean much – i’m content with things (kinda) being in their places *hahah*
haha, you summed the stages up so accurately i’m glad i’m not the only one.
🙂
I usually get to Step 4 and quit. 🙂 Thanks for the laughs!
Ah yes – I recognize this, especially Stage 5. My version of cleaning is rearranging the things I own. I just keep finding new places to stuff the, uh, stuff, and the room looks cleaner than before. -Jen
This is a perfectly accurate look at my five stages of cleaning. Well done. Shoving things under the bed and in the closet is always the answer. 🙂
This is frighteningly accurate! Whose been peeking through my windows?! lol
Never mind needing inspiration to clean, i use it as an excuse not to study!
Oh yeah, been there for sure. Loved this, so true.
ahahahahah, piles!!!! I’m famous for my piles of rubbish!!! 😀
We must be long lost twins…..this was exactly my day! At least I’m not alone… 🙂
I encouraged my partner to go fishing with our dog for the afternoon so I could have a good ol’ deap clean of the house… I got as far as step 3 before I panicked in a world of step 4 and rushed to complete step 5 before he got back! 5 minutes later I sat amidst a sea of fishing equipment and wet dog mess (plus the stench) – I was right back at step 1… Humph!
After a long Friday at work, this was my first read of the night. Glad I read it… made me laugh as it is SO true! Dust bunnies beware!
It’s even worse after you eat, you’re so full from your “little lunch” that you take a nap. 4 hours roll by, nadda done.
I love it! CONGRATULATIONS on being Freshly Pressed!
Great post. I use all five of those hahahha .. I try to keep everything clean but that never works out …… So i do it every week like fix my closet.
Totally me..:p
http://melodyinwonderland.wordpress.com/
Hehe. This is so funny and very true.
A great post deserving of Freshly Pressed!!! What is so great? The realism!!! EVERYONE who reads this has done this, if not during cleaning then some other dreaded chore :o)….so typical Human nature!!! You hit it out of the park with this one…right to home! Thanks for the smile and laugh!!!
OMG!!! Where just looking into my head or what??? Lol!
Congratulations on making it on Freshly Pressed!! 🙂
Oh my….this is sooo me!!!! Every day (almost), I say I’m going to clean and every day, before I know it, it’s time to pick up the children, make dinner, etc. Great piece….thanks!
I love this post 🙂 Very original and I so totally found myself somewhere in the middle!
I’m afraid number 3 is usually my number 1. I was just looking around my house, thinking, what a mess, Oh well, there are a million other more interesting things to do than clean it up.
Hahaha! I tend to move straight to Step 5, being the messy, disheveled and disorganized person I am! Thanks for the post!
So funny! I’m going to try to clean my place tomorrow, so I’ll be keeping your funny list in mind. But notice how I said I’d do it tomorrow? Ah, procrastination…
hmm, this reminds me of my post.
the stages a student undergoes during a test!
do read!
http://sortingpluto.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/i-dont-want-to-fail-but-i-aint-keen-on-studying-either/
Love this. Its so absolutely the way I work when it comes to cleaning.
Awesome, great post. Had me laughing. Congrats on Freshly Pressed
Bless your heart! Thank you! Thank you! I have silently said these exact words for a week now….you read my mind!!! Seriously, I finally unloaded the dishwasher, only to reload again, last night after the dirty dishes had sat in the sink for a week. My husband asked if I was growing a science experiment. Nope, just can’t find the motivation ~ or want to ~ to start cleaning. IT. NEVER. ENDS. EVER!!!!!
Love your blog, so glad I “stumbled” upon it – will definitely visit again.
http://mrshutchison.wordpress.com/
Great post! Sounds so familiar though. I go through this most weekends when it’s that ‘cleaning’ time. I’ve created those piles and hid them under the bed and in closets too! 🙂
I love it! I have four little boys. The piles are taking over the house. Cleaners should be subsidised by the government. xx
it so fully reminds me of my study moments: a little something i wrote about procrastination
http://regularteenageworld.wordpress.com/2011/02/25/procrastination-i-love-you-or-do-i/
I think my steps go a bit more like this:
Step 1- Put things away as you go so it never gets bad enough to merit “cleaning time”.
Step 2- Disregard Step 1.
Step 3- Crap. How did I end up here again?
I can’t even make it to step one. I get stuck on the pre-step of thinking “man, I should really clean this place up”…and then I end up watching an entire season of glee instead…
I think this is the point where you call in some back up and hire a cleaning lady…even if its just once.
Been there, done that…hhaha…;) super appealing…
I gotta photoblog here too check it out sometime…
http://www.avikabir.wordpress.com
Keep up the good work
best,
avi
Glad to know so many people are in the same boat. Love that post.
this is my life.
I thoroughly enjoyed your stages… Hysterical and … familiar! 🙂
Eliz
I’ve been avoiding cleaning the bathrooms by cleaning the windows inside and out. Hrmmm…
Funny and perfect. And actually very, very true…for the most of us.
Well said…Something that I go through almost every weekend…but I realise very often at end of Stage three, I just need some company to get me through the cleaning…If I have company…I do manage to finish it!!…Yay for me!
We’ve all been there.
I get to stage 3 and jump to 5 and then feel 4 :p
I completely hate cleaning. Step 1 would never ever happen in my world. But once I start cleaning I am completely relaxed and can only go 1 speed: till it’s done.
This is great! I was up at 4:15 a.m. cleaning and now getting ready to iron! Love it! Glad to see you here!
hahaha the worst thing is when you pull out all the cupbaords in an attempt to spring clean and then get fed up, but you cant stop because you have made such a mess!!
So me!
Funny and perfect. And actually very, very true…for the most of us.
I bought a book. Wonderful book. It even has a subtitle, so it must be proper. It’s called, “A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder.”
And they quote Einstein: “If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk?”
Don’t you like it already?
If not freshly dusted, you at least got Freshly Pressed. Now THAT’s something. Well done.
I love this post! I could see me in every line. I’m needing to clean my house today and somehow I don’t feel so alone, now, in my “everyone must be having more fun than me today” misery. Thanks for sharing!
Haha! This is so me today. I am currently stuck on Stage 3, which is why I am reading this instead of cleaning. Stages 1 and 2 took about five minutes to get through, but I’ve been on Stage 3 for a looong time 😀
Great post, thanks for the laugh!
You have hit the nail right on the head with this. It certainly sums up how I feel when cleaning. Resourcefulness is certainly my favourite.
Great post!
So my life, well up to step five. I haven’t resorted to cramming everything in closets or under the bed yet. I just don’t invite anybody over! My kids seem to think it’s supposed to look like this, so they don’t mind. (They’d better not, since they are the ones making it a natural disater zone!)
Great post!
You need to add another step, Motivation. Sometimes the only thing that motivates me to clean is that the dust is so thick that I’m sneezing incessantly. For me, Overwhelm would replace your Devastation step.
Good luck on your spring cleaning. My basement is getting remodeled and there is dust is everywhere and my furniture is tossed in bedrooms and storage shelving is taking up one side of the garage. Overwhelm city.
Here is the deal…the reason most wives/mothers don’t clean is because we are all sick of cleaning the same thing we just cleaned up. Can’t things just stay clean for one day? Is that too much to ask? With that said…I’m number 3. And I never feel guilty. And if I shove things under the bed..its like well, what the heck were your things doing in my bedroom in the first place?
Love this post. Now… I’m looking at my kitchen floor and it is real dirty, I should probably clean it. Nah, it can wait until I’m done bloggin’. 🙂
I can’t get motivate to even get to step one – just sayin’.
If I don’t watch out someday I will have to add an episode of “Hoarders” to my acting resume.
Blessings,
Ava
xox
This is right on. I am on phase 3 right now and plan to be there all day, having skipped phase 1 and 2…hmmmm.
Cute blog!
So ABSOLUTELY true! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
))))That’s soo true!!! But sometimes there are days I just “avoid” seeing anything but give up at 10 pm and start cleaning.)))) I wish I was like my aunt who even washes her porch and outside tiles with a hose( she has tiles instead of grass) even when its RAINING!!!But all of my aunts and mom are like Monica from Friends. And I am the lazy duckling))
I SO had to laugh about this …
Know exactly how you feel; except that I don’t have a dog. 😉
Tanks for sharing!
Amen! My clothes pile is out of control.
Oh I hear ya! I have lived this and also have lived through the 5 stages of cooking….
leoroaring.wordpress.com
hahahaha I absolutely adore this! it’s so true!!
hahahaha that’s great. Congrats on FP!
-Tia
http://www.tiallarising.wordpress.com
So very true.
I remember that during my school days when I was a boarder, I would stack all the things into the mosquito net till it gets to heavy that it almost touches my belly when I am asleep. [The warden could see under the bed, but not in the mosquite net]
i love it. it’s a series i go through everyday. minus the dogs.
“2 hours have passed…. I should go clean again” My thoughts right at this moment.
You sound like Rain man….
spread the humor: charlywalker.wordpress.com
I’ve given up on step #1 and tend to just walk about gnashing my teeth from the get-go.
I clean one room at a time for a sense of accomplishment!
Forget cleaning – have you been introduced to moving? Oy vey. 🙂
Made me chuckle out loud. I am right between stages 3 and 4 as I am reading, and it sounds much like my life every Saturday!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
I automatically default to Step 5. Then three months later, I start wondering where all my cutlery, bank statements, summer clothes and that invoice from my landlord for the hot water bill went. I need to hire a professional organizer just to follow me around every day, keeping my apartment in order!
Found this entry through Freshly Pressed. Congrats!
I think this is the same for doing homework too! 🙂
Love. This. It is the most accurate description of the process of cleaning I have ever read. Hahaha! Good stuff.
Brilliant. Same goes for work as well.
My wife likes cleaning, no sorry she loves cleaning, no that’s not quite right, she’s obsessed with cleaning, I think her mom bought her a toy hoover when she was three and the rest is history.
You must DE-CLUTTER it is good for the soul and makes your house look fab but then again you may need that book about rock-climbing you bought in third grade – NO YOU DON’T, BIN IT.
You ARE BAD but in a cute way.
Andy.
wealthnuggets4u.com
COME ON!
I love that. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment…have lived here for 5 years and no matter how hard I try there is always one bed unmade, dirty dishes in the sink and atleast one dirty linoleum floor.
LMAO!!! So funny! And celevr… you have captured, what I believe, most of us go through when faced with the reality that no, you cannot put off cleaning forever….lol. Loved this post!!
I don’t clean. At least, unless a sudden urge takes me, I can go for months without doing it voluntarily. It’s now been accepted that I cook and take care of the bills and my boyfriend does the cleaning.
LMAO!!! Isn’t it the truth!?? I go through all that too. I don’t drink coffee, but if I did, that’s exactly how I would sound.
You’re too funny!
I just cleaned and cleared out 50 years of living at my mother’s old house as she has moved to a new house. I went through all of those stages but I think you missed one – The Crying Stage …lol.
Well you have summed it up! Thanks for sharing. Big question is why does the mess have to get soooooo big. A least I’ll have a laugh at myself next time I hit stage 3!
You could change the words around and this could be called the five stages of homework. 😛
This is soooooooooooo cute! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
My own recipe for cleaning. Just don’t think about it. Get down and ‘Do it’, and you’ll glow with pride when it’s done. It is the thinking about it, which destroys you.
Haha, I love it!
This is hilarious. I totally relate 🙂
Yep, that’s exactly what I do.
Congrats on being freshly pressed!
lol,great article. cleaning always rough for me. and i found out it’s not only me who have problem with cleaning 🙂 love it.
lol… this writing style is a neat mental point of view! Nice
Found this through FP and loved it. I felt like you were describing me. I get stuck at number 3. I’ll watch one tv show and then start thinking up excuses to help me convince myself that I can watch the next one. I’ll say to myself, “It’s just another 30 minutes…I can make that up.” And then that 30 minute show ends and I desperately grasp at more excuses to help me convince myself I can sit on the couch a bit longer. Procrastination at its finest. This is one reason why I believe I’d be a terrible stay at home mom.
Wow,this is hillarious and I really enjoy it! It strucked me the most when I came to point #3 and so on till the rest…
Then I reread and realise that this is all about me… the mental state I go through when it comes to cleaning!
Glad to know I am not so alone in this world. Lol!
😀
I’m there now! Thanks! I feel better now. Good Lawd!! How long will it take? =D
wow, that sounds just like me! I’ve pretty much given up on having a nice, clean room because of all the stuff I accumulated from college, plus the stuff I already had. I’ve given some away but it doesn’t seem to have helped much.
I’m an Iranian. In Iran we have a tradition to clean every corner of the house before the new year. We call it “Shaking the House”. Our new year is on 21st of March.
I was cleaning the whole kitchen and meanwhile surfing on net.
Suddenly I say this post.
It is funny. because you exactly described how I felt.
Thanks
You made my day.
That seems like a nice tradition–a good way to start the new year, if you can manage it 🙂
Glad I made your day! Good luck with the cleaning!
This is great!
A mais pura verdade!
So true!!
Great Post…!!
You actually just described my spring cleaning ritual – every step! Great post, love your humor.
My my friend and I talk on the phone a couple of times a week and discuss all of the things we have to do so our lives will be in perfect order. We both operate little antique & collectibles shops and trust me, we can’t believe all of the “things” that get stacked in piles that make sense at the time, boxes of mysterious things that made sense at the time they were put into the boxes..it just gets nuts! Yeah, we talk a good game. Adult ADD.
ROTFL!!! I feel like there has been hidden cameras in my house! The only thing that gets me motivated to get cleaning done is visitors. I work great under the pressure of time. So when it gets time to get cleaning done I invite friends over and work like a mad woman for 3 hours before they get there. However, I’m a new mom (my son is 10 weeks old) and I’m so tired from caring for him my social life has died down and the mess is piling up. Thanks for this post I’m going to share it 🙂
Research the Ten Second Tidy routine…
spread the humor
Yes, visitors are real motivators for cleaning, aren’t they? That’s actually the reason I was cleaning (and the reason I wrote this post), because a family friend was coming to stay.
You have a 10 week old? Honey, don’t even bother cleaning, just try and catch some sleep when you can and enjoy your new bundle of joy!
1-2-3. Usually all thing are as simple as 1-2-3. So does my cleaning habit. Got there already, and I leave the house that way most of the time. Ooh, you remind me to clean up things around. I think it’s time for me to leave my computer and start cleaning. OK the, get up, Dee, and do the 1-2-3 😉
same feeling, good!
I have better approach for cleaning: categorize anything for their place. That way, sometimes hard works are not needed when cleaning, and sometimes it made cleaning is more fun!
Cleaning MORE FUN??? You definitely need to get out more…
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Honest, any other topic to contemplate on? Life is too short to devote..to writing about cleaning up a room/house. You’ll find me on the bike or walking outdoors and write about that instead.
Unless you’re moving to make a life change.
Yes, I agree… then we can discuss all the litter out there..
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Exactly what I needed before I tackle my Sunday cleaning…in the meantime I am delaying the inevitable by cooking!
I’ve always thought cooking is a great distraction because that way, no matter what else you get done, at least you’ll have something good to eat later!
love this…story of my life… 😀
Very good, reminds me of the five stages of death!
They are one in the same…..
unless you’re Merry Maids…
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This is so funny and true that I could imagine it playing out in an episode of “I Love Lucy.” I totally fall prey to stages 3 and 4. Who doesn’t!?! I appreciate your witticism. Congrats on FP!
Since “I Love Lucy” is one of my favorite shows I take this as a HUGE compliment 🙂
Thanks for the laugh. I just tried to quickly vacuum my rug, only to find the brush needed cleaning so badly that I had to clean it in order to vacuum. I really need a new vacuum cleaner… or maybe I need to find somebody to do the vacuuming for me?
isn’t it terrible when chores spawn other chores? 😛
this is my sunday, very good post
thanks! Hope you’re Sunday ended on a high note!
Loved how you captured this dialogue with the mind 🙂 Very entertaining …. thanks for sharing & I’m so glad I found your blog.. congrats on FP!
So funny and so true!
Married with three kids (one to university, one in high school, the other in elementary). The GARAGE !! The GARAGE is the MOOONSTER of all cleanings and sorting! It’s the place from Hell. I have spent more time in frustration looking at that GARAGE and try to make more sense of it than in any other place. I strongly believe that projects like these should be done one hour a day for a few days, until things get under control…
What if we eliminate the garage and bring back the carport….Imagine the lovely view for the neighbors…
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I say throw it all away, then you don’t have to feel the guilt. Great post!
lmao I LOVED this, it gave me a laugh. I thought I would take a break from my mess. I reached the Avoidance part hehe
So true, so true
Mwahahahahahaha! If only this weren’t so true! Every weekend I think “ok, this weekend I really must do something about this mess (that has been hidden in cupboards since the last time I tried to do something about the mess).
Wow, so it’s not just me? Your procrastinations are exactly the same!! NEVER look under the bed! With two longhaired kittens who play fight under there, it looks like there is an extra cat…albeit one that is smeared across the carpet.
Oh my, this had me laughing! So true!!
My exact thoughts the other day while I was cleaning my room! Hilarious, truthful post! amazing job and congrats on being FP! 🙂
http://newzealandbakerdreamer.wordpress.com/
This is true and I follow all five stages also.
I think this is harder than a 12 step from AA…
House cleaning is a dirty word.
I’ve kicked my family out and moved the cleaning lady in….
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That`s me, but you should add up the cursing and yelling part
I love this because it describes me so well…I feel guilty for not cleaning even though I don’t actually have time for cleaning. That’s the worst kind of guilt, the inescapable never-ending kind. : (
Love this post – it is what I do at least once a week! lol
It’s 6:27 p.m. on Sunday evening. I spent my weekend with Mr. Clean and his friends the scrubbing bubbles. I’m warn out! Those guys know how to P A R T Y!! But now I sit in my house that is sparkling clean. The loud music helped me dance and sing my way through. My heart is happy. I’d like to take another day off just to be still in my clean house.
Clean no one likes xD. I think the need to invent a robot cleaners and run into everyday life. At this time, cleaners do not even appreciate very much to clean up.
One of my high priorities in life is “to simplify.” After my wife died, and I sold my house I was forced to purge. Although it sounds easy, I have accumulated enough junk in the past five years to have to start over.
Great post!
This sums up how I spent my entire day. Though I didn’t even get to step 5. I’m such a lazy bum.
Now on to my shower… if I can motivate…
This has been me TOO many times. Thanks for this, really made me laugh, and I’m going to go home right now and try to finish cleaning my kitchen…it’ll only take me 2 hours!
This is so me. Much to my husband’s chagrin!
My wife never got past stage 1.
You wrote something for everyone. Great post.
This is hilarious because it’s exactly right. I was just cleaning out my room and I went through all 5 stages several times each day.
glad I am not the only one that feels this way!
This is totally wonderful! Am sending it to a few people who will really appreciate it. Thank you.
Thank YOU for passing me and my words along!
Don’t worry. I saw a sign in Joe’s Crabshack that says “Housework makes you ugly”.
i do my laundry everyday..because else, I ‘ll end up doing these 5 things u did..
anyway, nice post..
Hilarious. The only time I enjoy cleaning is when I chase after the cat with the vacuum nozzle.
well i do a stage six and seven six finish:is clean and neatly find a place for everything then seven is doubt cus by the next working day its back to the way it was and i doubt that i even cleaned it
Hilarious! I just cleaned my whole home yesterday and totally relate 🙂 Hate hate cleaning the home. Every time I even think of hiring someone else to do it for me I’m discouraged by the high cost! Until I win the lottery I guess I’ll just have to do the horrid task myself… *sigh*
Well, I mopped my mudroom and kitchen floors today, vaccumed under the couch cushions and did a bunch of dishes so I am feeling a little bit better now.
haha,funny!so true, I even never recognize I have that emotional change throughout the process.
Haha! I go through these stages exactly. I thought I was the only one! […Especially on Stages 3 and 4. :S]
You’re definitely not alone! I love how all these comments have proved it!
This is true! Whenever I clean this is usually everything I do! Funny!
I am very protective of my clutter. So much that even my closest friends have never been to the second floor (the messiest) of my house. I could hire a weekly cleaning service, but alas, realize I would have to clean my house before I could have them step foot through the front door….
sounds painfully familiar
LOL! I completely identify with this post! My plan for the weekend was to clean my room, as well as my workspace (desk and the floor around it) – neither of which was completed. However, I have “caught up” with TV watching, phone calls and shopping. Oh, well . . . maybe next weekend 😉
“This mess is a place” is definitely what I think every morning looking at my flat! 🙂
I’m literally laughing out loud as I’m reading this. I’ve done this too too many times.
Simply hilarious and very true indeed. Avoidance is a major drawback.
Thanks for this hilarious article.
Vanimator
http://www.vanimator.com
Lol, big lol. 😀
So funny, but true. ^^
I Like your blog.
My whole life can be broken down in this way – thanks for enlightening!
Such a cute article…. everybody does this some or the other time.
Cleaning is a pain when you do it alone, but with friends, it can be great fun. :d
Helps me all the time. 🙂
is that like a “Misery loves company” kind of thing?
haha
Yes, as long as the friends don’t add to the distractions, it would be nice not to tidy up all by your lonesome. 🙂
This describes me 100% when I ‘attempt’ to clean. I had this crazy idea that all women love cleaning. It’s fantastic to see that I am not the only one who does not.
Fantastic blog by the way!
hahaha. this is so true!! congrats on FP!!
LOL love this. That is exactly what I do. Or would do anyway, if I ever got past the Avoidance Stage! haha. I will be sharing this with friends!!
The Avoidance Stage is a toughy! Thanks for passing my words along!
My mother got me a decorative tile for my kitchen which reads “my idea of cleaning is to sweep the room with a glance.” It’s like you wrote this post about me, I have major cleaning anxiety.
that’s a nice saying to keep near and dear to you 🙂
I’m helping the wife clean today!
good luck!
Oh my gosh I hate to clean! I thought I would clean more once I got married and bought my own house, but it didn’t help. Turns out I’m just lazy!
i just don’t like cleaning. PERIOD
any suggestions on how I can get my boyfriend to help his and my son and I clean the apartment?
bribes and breaks always help! Otherwise–maybe someone else will have tips? I can barely motivate myself 🙂
So true…
I’m like that about my ironing. I have a chair with a pile of clothes and a Me To You Tatty Teddy on top. As long as Teddy doesn’t get suffocated, I think my chair is still okay. It’s not really…I think I should stop writing about it and start fixing the chair and putting the clothes away…yeah that’s what I’ll do…in a little bit…
HYSTERICAL (and oh so true!) Great read.
Great post! Sounds so familiar though. I go through this most weekends when it’s that ‘cleaning’ time. I’ve created those piles and hid them under the bed and in closets too!